that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize