I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
