so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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