She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
