Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize