you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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