There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize