Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
