I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
