do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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