Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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