Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You can't just leave with hair like that
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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