you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
