Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
