so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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