Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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