so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
