She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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