My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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