New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
