Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize