ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
