ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
