I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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