she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This house was built for laser tag.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
