I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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