Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize