I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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