He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
