I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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