I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
