And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
