Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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