she was so not down for the gang bang
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize