and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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