But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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