so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
