Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Are we still banned from the library?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
