Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
