You smell like a Billy Joel song
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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