He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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