Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
