Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
