hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
