BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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