i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
