It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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