Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
