Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
