Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
