"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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