I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
