It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You pole danced in your parka.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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