She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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