I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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