I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
