FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
