Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
