just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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