Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
