plz talk dirty to me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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