I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
