Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
