Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
