I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
