Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
