Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I love you.
Bad choice
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
