Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize