I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
